A Piece Of Cake
by teno-hikari
Summary: How do you hide a secret relationship between a homicidal doctor's friend and dream-uke, from the homicidal doctor? The third piece to the 'Rude Awakening Arc' ... I really can't say no to you reviewers ^_^;
1. Tsuzuki can run ...

A Piece Of Cake  
  
By: Teno Hikari  
email: tenohikari@cs.com / teno_hikari@yahoo.com  
  
* Disclaimers: If I did own the gorgeous bishounen from Yami no Matsuei... I would have made more yaoi scenes ^_~  
  
* Summary: How do you hide a secret relationship between a homicidal doctor's friend and dream-uke, from the homicidal doctor? The third piece to the 'Rude Awakening Arc' ... I really can't say no to you reviewers ^_^;   
  
* Warning: yaoi (m/m) pairing and some lemony *hints*  
  
********  
  
It was eight o'clock in the morning and Tsuzuki wanted cake. Oh how he craved it more than ever. Over the decades, cake had made his life worth living ... well, his 'life' as a Shinigami. Everyday he would wake up and eat to his heart's content (or until he was broke) only to go back to bed and dream of repeating the process. But between getting up and going back to bed he had to go to work. Same old, same old day when he and his PMS suffering partner had to go to the mortal realm, assigned to solve murder cases that always lead up to one man ...   
  
"Honestly," the older Shinigami yawned. "Why don't we just shoot him and be done with it?"  
  
His partner scowled, "NO! He must suffer like I have suffered!"  
  
With an evil grin (which was quite out of his character) the young Shinigami continued, "He must feel pain until he begs for death! MUWAHAHAHAAHA!"   
  
Tsuzuki sweat dropped nervously at his partner's uncharacteristic evil laughter and shook his head, "Jeez, you're getting weirder everyday ... next thing I know you're going to be buying antique dolls and wearing all one color..."   
  
"I'm perfectly sane," Hisoka muttered.  
  
"Riiiight," the older Shinigami starred at Hisoka dressed in a denim blue outfit while carrying a Hello Kittly doll.  
  
"So, who's the victim this time?"   
  
"You know how it is," Tsuzuki shrugged. "Always pretty girls ... never any pretty boys like Hijiri ..."  
  
Hisoka glared.  
  
"Are you jealous?"   
  
"No ..."   
  
"If you were Pinocchio, your nose would stick out six feet in front of you ..."  
  
"Who or what the hell is Pinocchio?" Hisoka continued to glare.  
  
"A puppet who ..."  
  
"I'm no one's puppet! NO ONE'S!!!!!"   
  
Tsuzuki sighed as he covered his puppy ears, "Why won't you ever let me finish my explanations?"   
  
The two Shinigami's stopped dead (okay just stopped) in their tracks. Muraki appeared before them, summoning up a cold breeze to blow the hair away that was covering his freaky eye. The dynamic dead duo(1) shivered and starred.  
  
"It's summer ...," Tsuzuki noted. "Where the hell is this wind coming from?"   
  
Muraki smiled at the violet-eyed Shinigami, "Hello my darling, Tsuzuki-san ... and ... :: Glares at Hisoka :: ... boy."  
  
"Stop calling me 'boy'!" Hisoka shouted. "I have a name! It's Hisoka! HI-SO-KA!"   
  
The doctor ignored the youth's tantrum as he inched closer to Tsuzuki (who inched away). "It's been awhile, Tsuzuki-san ... I've missed you ..."   
  
His fake eye began to glow and Tsuzuki found himself backing away in fright. "Eep! Why is your eye glowing?"   
  
"Don't you like it? It's a new implant that helps me see in the dark. It will come in very useful for certain night time activities in my bedroom," Muraki purred and gave the brunette a knowing smile.  
  
Tsuzuki blenched, "Just when I thought you couldn't get anymore crazier ... and perverted ..."  
  
The killer smiled maniacally as he continued to freak out the Shinigami pair. "Eye glows on... eye glows off ... eye glows on ... eye glows off ... eye glows on ... eye glows off ... eye glows on ..."  
  
"STOP IT!" Both of them cried in union.  
  
"Anyway," the cold breeze was gone and the silver hair fell back into place, covering the freaky eye. Muraki looked like a sane person once again. Looked like. "As you know I am behind the murder case you have been assigned to today."  
  
"Yeah," Hisoka shrugged. "We knew."   
  
Muraki smiled mysteriously, "But you don't know why now, do you?"  
  
"So you can lure me in," Tsuzuki answered.  
  
"No," the killer shook his head gravely. "It is so I can lure you in, Tsuzuki-san."  
  
The Shinigami twitched in annoyance, "I just said that ..."   
  
"It has also come to my attention that you are being unfaithful to me ..." Muraki sniffed.   
  
Another twitch, "What?! We're not married! How could I be unfaithful if I was never faithful to begin with?!"   
  
The doctor glared angrily, ignoring Tsuzuki's words entirely. "I must know, Tsuzuki-san. Who is responsible for making you happy? Who?!" :: glares at Hisoka again:: "It's you, isn't it?"  
  
Hisoka gave the man a blank stare before turning to his partner, "What's psycho doctor talking about, Tsuzuki?"   
  
Sweat dropping, the older man backed away even further. "Look at the time! It's almost lunch and since we've uncovered who the murderer is (and will always be) ... I'm gonna go eat!"   
  
Hisoka blinked, "Tsuzuki?"  
  
Tsuzuki runs off.  
  
Muraki scowled, "He's hiding something from me ... I must follow. But first ..."   
  
His freaky eye switched on, much to Hisoka's growing annoyance.  
  
"I must make my classically beautiful exit(2)."   
  
The homicidal doctor tosses pillow in the air which then explodes, sending feathers raining down all over the place.  
  
"Dammit ...," Hisoka cursed as Muraki disappeared. "I'm not cleaning this up again!"   
  
----------  
  
Author's Ramble   
  
This was supposed to be one big story but I broke it up into little parts.  
  
(1) Pictures Tsuzuki and Hisoka as Batman and Robin ^^;   
  
Tsuzuki ::In Batman outfit making a heroic Superman pose:: "Fear not citizens! The Dynamic Dead Duo are here to save the day! .... ::mumbles:: Ow ... my underwear is wedged to far..."   
  
Hisoka :: In Robin costume (the 70's live version - the one with underwear without the tights ^^;) :: "I hate this..." :: Glares at the stupid yellow cape :: "I don't look like a robin ... I look like the gayest gay who ever gayed.... ~_~# ...."   
  
Muraki :: In Joker costume :: "I don't like the green hair but the purple suit is nice ... the color of Batman-Tsuzuki-san's eyes ..." :: drools at the sight of Tsuzuki in black spandex ::  
  
Tsuzuki :: Covers himself with his cape :: "Stop looking at me, you perverted clown!!!!"   
  
(2) Well, Where do you think the feathers come from??? 


	2. Tsuzuki can hide...

A Piece Of Cake  
  
By: Teno Hikari  
email: tenohikari@cs.com / teno_hikari@yahoo.com  
  
* Disclaimers: If I did own the gorgeous bishounen from Yami no Matsuei... I would have made more yaoi scenes ^_~  
  
* Summary: How can you hide a secret relationship between a homicidal doctor's friend and dream-uke, from the homicidal doctor? The third piece to the 'Rude Awakening Arc' ... I really can't say no to you reviewers ^_^;   
  
* Warning: yaoi (m/m) pairing and some lemony *hints*  
  
********  
  
[ 10 AM - At Oriya's *Restaurant* ]  
  
  
"Please, young master!"  
  
"Please?!"  
  
"For the last time: NO!" Oriya shouted at his servants from where he was sitting at the table. "I will not have you taping me and Tsuzuki doing ... that stuff(1)!"   
  
"But sir," Chiharu pleaded. "Why not?!"   
  
"Because I said: 'NO'!"  
  
"Young master," Yuki stepped in. "Think of all the money we could make."  
  
"No, no, no and ... money?" the brothel owner paused. "What money?"   
  
"We can sell tapes off to shounen ai fan-clubs(2)," said Ayako as she held up her video camera equipment. "We would make hundreds! Thousands!"  
  
Dollar signs appeared in Oriya's eyes before he blinked them away. "No! We're supposed to represent tradition and none of our customers would be interested in these ... videos."   
  
"That's not true," Asuza shook her head. "All our clients would love them, especially Doctor Muraki(3) ..."  
  
Oriya paled, "NO! You are not showing Muraki any of those tapes!"   
  
"So we can make them then! Yay!"   
  
The six beautiful women excitedly rushed to the young master's bedroom to start setting up the equipment.  
  
"Oi!" Oriya protested but his madly giggling servants were already off to prepare the room for the night. Defeated he turned back to his newspaper and began to read. A few seconds later, his secret-lover - Tsuzuki, came running into the room with tears in his eyes.   
  
"Hide me!"   
  
The broth -er- *Restaurant* owner starred at the whimpering Shinigami hiding underneath the table. "What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be at work?"   
  
He then looked up as the door slid open again.  
  
"Good morning, Oriya," said Muraki as he entered the room.  
  
Oriya twitched and began to look nervous, "Morning ... Muraki."   
  
The doctor looked around the room for a moment and then back at his friend. "I'm looking for my puppy, have you seen him?"   
  
"Your ... puppy?" the long-haired brunette looked down at the whimpering puppy Tsuzuki under the table by his feet.  
  
"Yes," Muraki pushed up his glasses. "Brown hair ... purple eyes ... and cute little fangs. He's been a very *naughty* puppy and I must take him home to apply discipline ..."   
  
From his hiding place, Tsuzuki began to whimper even more, before looking at Oriya's legs ... and up. "Hey, you're still not wearing anything under that ..."  
  
Kicking Tsuzuki under the table, Oriya shook his head. "Nope, no puppies here ..."  
  
Muraki frowned, "I could have sworn he ran in here ... odd since you two aren't seeing each other again, right?"   
  
The killer gave his friend the infamous freaky eye glare. A bead of sweat ran down Oriya's face as he shook his head violently. "No, of course not! Why would I want that lazy, drooling, walking garbage disposal ... ouch!"   
  
Tsuzuki gave his lover a death glare as he bit the man's ankle. Oriya returned the glare then looked back up to Muraki to continue, "And I would never betray our friendship ..."   
  
The doctor considered this, not wondering in the slightest why his friend was hastily casting glances underneath the table. Muraki turned off his freaky-eye much to Oriya's relief. He sighed and sat down at the table, making Tsuzuki move even closer to the other man.   
  
"Oh well, I guess I'll try 'Tsuzuki-hunting' later," Muraki folded his hands as Oriya poured him a cup of tea. "In the mean time, how have you been?"   
  
"Same as always," Oriya shrugged. "You?"   
  
"So glad you asked!" the doctor smiled insanely. "Now let me prattle on about my sick obsession for a man who's old enough to be my grandfather and how I like to rape little boys..."  
  
Both Tsuzuki and Oriya twitched.  
  
  
  
----------  
  
Author's Ramble   
  
  
(1) Oriya owns a brothel but still can't bring himself to say that he and Tsuzuki are doing the wild monkey dance ^^;;;  
  
(2) How many of you would pay to see lemon-fanfics animated???  
  
(3) I think Muraki would be very interested, but probably be pretty pissed off that he wasn't in the ::cough:: home video ^^; 


	3. Surrounded by perverts...

A Piece Of Cake  
  
By: Teno Hikari  
email: tenohikari@cs.com / teno_hikari@yahoo.com  
  
* Disclaimers: If I did own the gorgeous bishounen from Yami no Matsuei... I would have made more yaoi scenes ^_~  
  
* Summary: How can you hide a secret relationship between a homicidal doctor's friend and dream-uke, from the homicidal doctor? The third piece to the 'Rude Awakening Arc' ... I really can't say no to you reviewers ^_^;   
  
* Warning: yaoi (m/m) pairing and some lemony *hints*  
  
********  
  
  
[ 10:30 AM - At Oriya's *Restaurant* ]  
  
  
Oriya: :: Thinking :: 'I really need to stop asking Muraki how he is... because he's always insane!'  
  
Muraki: :: Continues to prattle :: " ... And then in the dream I grab Tsuzuki-san by the ankles and ..."  
  
Tsuzuki: :: Thinking :: 'Sooo hungry ... yeesh Muraki is a pervert ...' :: Looks up at Oriya again :: 'I really can't believe he's not wearing anything under there ... I wonder ...' :: Evil grin ::   
  
Oriya: :: Thinking :: 'Muraki is a pervert ... yes, I have these same thoughts about Tsuzuki but at least I don't ...' :: Twitches and slowly looks down at his lap to see Tsuzuki grinning up at him :: 'That little idiot!'   
  
Muraki: "... But then the chocolate melts to quickly and we're stuck together. Not that its such a bad thing. In fact ..." :: Continues to prattle ::  
  
Tsuzuki: :: Continues his evil ministrations ::  
  
Oriya: :: Blushes as he tries to look at Muraki and pretends to pay attention :: 'Damn you, Tsuzuki! You're just as crazy as him ... and sooo wearing that 'outfit' tonight ...'   
  
Muraki: :: Blinks :: "Oriya? Are you okay? You look flushed ..."  
  
Oriya: :: Squeaks :: "I'm fine."   
  
Muraki: "As I was saying..." :: Continues to prattle :: "In the dream the ribbons begin to ..."  
  
Oriya: :: Clutches the table :: 'Think unsexy thoughts ... think unsexy thoughts ... think unsexy thoughts ... think- OH GOD! WHAT IS HE DOING WITH HIS TONGUE?!'   
  
Tsuzuki: :: Evil laughter ::  
  
Oriya: :: Glares down at him again :: 'If I'm alive after this, I swear you'll pay!'   
  
Muraki: :: Unaware of what's happening under the table :: "And then ..."  
  
  
Hours later ...  
  
  
Muraki FINALLY finishes reminissing his long perverted wet dream and now both he and Oriya are smoking. Except Oriya is smoking for a different reason ... he actually lived that wet dream. Of course he would NEVER tell Muraki unless he was feeling suicidal.  
  
Oriya: :: Smoking :: 'Oh, God ... I don't know whether to kiss him or kill him ... hmmm ... maybe I'll do both.'   
  
Tsuzuki: 'It's getting cramped under here ... when is pycho doctor going to leave?!'   
  
Muraki: :: Also smoking :: "Oriya, you still look flushed. Did my story turn you on that much?"   
  
Oriya: "Huh ...? Oh ... yeah ... I mean no!"   
  
Muraki: :: Puts out cigerrette :: "I wonder where my Tsuzuki-san could have run off to ..."   
  
Tsuzuki: :: Makes a small squeak when Muraki's feet nearly touch him and quickly grabs onto Oriya's legs ::   
  
Oriya: "Well, he is a Shinigami ..." :: Twitches and glares down at Tsuzuki who stares at him pleadingly :: "I suppose he could be anywhere ..."   
  
Muraki: "Hmmm ... maybe I should go kidnap his partner again."   
  
Tsuzuki: "Leave Hisoka ... ouch!"   
  
Oriya: :: Kicks Tsuzuki again ::   
  
Muraki: :: Blinks :: "I could have sworn I heard Tsuzuki-san right now ..."  
  
Oriya: "Eh, it's probably those voices again ..."  
  
Muraki: "Hmmm... it's the first time I've heard Tsuzuki-san in my head though ...." :: Shrugs :: "Oh, well ..."  
  
Tsuzuki and Oriya: :: Sweat drop ::  
  
Muraki: "Oh my, it seems I've been rambling away again, I'm sorry Oriya but I must go to work now ..."  
  
Tsuzuki: 'REJOICE!'  
  
Oriya: "I understand, Muraki. It was ... nice ... talking to you again." :: Thinks :: 'Even though you did most of the talking, you crazy pervert.' :: Smiles at his friend :: "Going back to the hospital?"  
  
Muraki: "No, back to Tsuzuki-hunting."  
  
Tsuzuki and Oriya: :: Twitch ::  
  
Tsuzuki: 'Someone up there hates me ...'  
  
  
[ *Up There* ]  
  
Hikari: Hehe ^_^ V  
  
  
Muraki: :: Leaves ::   
  
Tsuzuki: :: Crawls out from under the table. :: "I thought he would never leave!"   
  
Oriya: :: Glares :: "YOu could have gotten us killed! You could have gotten *me* killed! Why, oh *why* do I put up with this?!"   
  
Tsuzuki: :: Evil grin :: "I'll remind you why ..." :: Jumps Oriya ::  
  
Oriya: "Stop! Not here! Ahhh!!!!!"   
  
Ayako: "Young master, I thought I heard you ..." :: Looks at Tsuzuki and smiled widely :: "Hello, Tsuzuki-san!"   
  
Tsuzuki: :: Smiles, still laying on Oriya who was trying to push him off :: "Hello, Ayako-chan! How's .... business?"   
  
Ayako: "Very good, I -"  
  
Just then the other five prostitutes coming rushing into the room.  
  
All: "TSUZUKI-SAN!" :: All six women cry out and glomp ontop of their favorite guest ... who was still on top of their master ::  
  
Oriya: :: Groans, underneath all seven bodies :: "I can't feel my feet ..."  
  
  
Much Later ....  
  
  
Yuki: "Tsu-chan, say 'ah'!" :: Holds up a piece of applie pie before Tsuzuki's mouth ::  
  
Tsuzuki: "Ahhh!" :: Puppy Tsuzuki happily takes the dessert into his mouth ::   
  
Oriya : :: Rolls eyes and starts smoking again ::   
  
Yuki: :: Eyes glaze over :: "Tsu-chan's so cute!" :: Glomps onto him ::  
  
Oriya: :: Fumes :: "Yuki! Stop glomping my ..." :: Pauses ::  
  
Ayako: :: Smiles evilly as she glomps onto Tsuzuki too :: "Your 'what', young master?"   
  
Oriya: :: Twitches :: "My ... my ..."   
  
Yuki: :: pulls puppy Tsuzuki close to her chest ... really *close* ::   
  
Tsuzuki: :: Nosebleeds :: "Whaa!"   
  
Oriya: :: A sweat puddle forms around him :: "... My ..."  
  
Ayako: :: Glomps tighter around Tsuzuki's waist ::   
  
Oriya: :: Shakes with anger :: ".... My ... my ..."   
  
Tsuzuki: :: Cries out :: "Where are your hands going, Ayako-chan?!"   
  
Oriya: :: Grabs Tsuzuki and runs off to his bedroom ::   
  
Tsuzuki: :: Cries out :: "I didn't get to finish my pie!"   
  
  
----------  
  
Author's Ramble   
  
Muwahahahaha 


End file.
